Dive into the power of resilience. The definition of this supertrait is simple: The ability to bounce back after hardships and adversities. I just love the meaningful Afrikaans word: Veerkragtigheid – directly translated it means suspension.
I often admirably look at people who endure one major setback after another, and think to myself: “How does she do it? How did she manage to get up and go on?” And why do people differ in the way they handle these setbacks? I have also seen minor setbacks bringing people to their knees, unable to get back up on their feet – ever. That is so sad, but unfortunately the latest suicide statistics prove it a reality. The answer lies in this ninth key to personal empowerment or becoming the best version of yourself: Resilience.
In the workplace, our productivity, and as a result also our stress levels, has increased tremendously over the last 20 years. Modern life has become fast-paced, in many cases spinning out of control, and a healthy work-life balance is becoming more impossible to maintain.
Burnout is a condition that’s being diagnosed around the clock. Precisely for this reason, resilience is a trait that is becoming super important for everyday life, and not only to be implemented once we encounter setbacks.
What does a resilient person looks like?
- Overall optimistic and happy with a positive outlook in life
- Emotionally intelligent
- Healthy sense of humour
- Remains calm under pressure
- Positive self-image with confidence in their abilities
- Shows empathy and compassion towards others
- Excellent character – integrity, honesty and loyalty
- Naturally curious and eager to learn
- Self-sufficient, yet responsible towards the community
- Great problem-solving and communication skills
- Balanced
- Relationships with healthy boundaries
- Good and successful health habits, no signs of emotional eating
- Adaptable
- A joyful giver – of money, time and love
- Confidently able to stretch the comfort zone
What would you do to acquire some or even all of these awesome traits? Or does it sound so way out of your reach that you feel too despondent to continue reading? Hang on, I have come to a great conclusion further in the article that I can’t wait to share with you! But let’s look at the building plans for resilience first:
The 5 pillars resilience is built upon:
- Mindfulness
- Self-awareness
- Successful habits
- Positive relationships
- Purpose
By strengthening each one of these pillars, a total collapse will be prevented next time you encounter a difficult or stressful situation. Because unfortunately in life, those situations will occur in every person’s life at least once.
No one is exempt from hardships, disappointments and adversities. Resilience is not about avoiding hardships or sailing smoothly through life.
On the contrary: Resilience develops during times of emotional distress. We can learn to thrive within the stress of any adversity and live a life in abundance.
We can educate and toughen ourselves up in order to not only survive hardships, but to bounce back from them stronger, wiser and even more resilient.
I will not go into these 5 pillars in detail again, as I already wrote complete articles on each of them. You can follow the links for more information and tips on how to strengthen them. Let’s rather move on, I want to get to my aha! conclusion.
Additional benefits of resilience:
- Often acts as a natural remedy for depression and anxiety by decreasing symptoms of depression and anxiety
- Improves the immune system by improving insomnia
- Therefore, it improves our general physical health!
- Improves working memory
- Changes the way we see the world around us – our reality
- It changes the bad habit of self-pity
- Improves learning and academic achievement
- Reduces risk-taking behaviours such as excessive drinking, smoking and using drugs
The helix:
Great was my surprise when I discovered during my research that the symbol of resilience is the helix, or spiral. This shape is found all around us throughout nature. In galaxies, ferns, vine tendrils, snails, sunflowers and in the horns of some antelopes, to name but a few. When a growing plant root meets an obstruction, it twists and turns in its effort to grow, and forms a helix. This new shape makes the root stronger and tougher to overcome the next obstacle more easily. Isn’t it therefor a very suitable symbol for resilience?
Now for that great news I promised – the aha! conclusion: The physical structure of the DNA in every cell in your body is described as a double helix.
The conclusion I made is that you were created with a double portion of resilience already in the blueprint of every cell in your body, even though you might feel defeated, weak and vulnerable at the moment. Hear this again:
You are already resilient, hallelujah!
Coincidence? Maybe. Scientifically proven? Maybe not. But I choose to believe that all humans were created with enough resilience to overcome any obstacle that life might throw at them. Granted: Some people’s resilience muscle is more toned than others’, and some need a harder workout to get their muscle in shape. With that said, here are some tips on how to strengthen your resilience muscle:
Tips on strengthening your resilience:
- Strengthen the five pillars of resilience before you find yourself in a stressful circumstance. Practise mindfulness, become more self-aware, cultivate successful habits, build positive relationships and create your purpose in life.
- Engage in random acts of kindness during a stressful period. Do charity work in your community, help an elderly person across the road or carry their shopping bags. Strike up a conversation with the lady at the grocery store’s pay point. Smile at the low-ranked employee at the office. Shift the focus from yourself and your current circumstances to somebody else. You will soon realise that there are other serious needs in the world beside yours. You might get a new perspective on your current situation.
- Try your best to maintain your daily routine. Get enough sleep, exercise, follow a healthy diet, force yourself to set time aside to do something relaxing.
- Write about your experience. Write down your emotions and share it with someone you trust.
- Identify your support system and allow them to be there for you. Share your written experience with them.
- Write down everything you can still be grateful for. I’m sure if you dig deep enough, you will still find enough to be thankful for, even though you feel your world is turned upside down. An attitude of gratitude despite your circumstances empowers you and lifts you out of your negative mindset.
- Look for the silver lining. You don’t need to adopt an ostrich mentality, just keep in mind that your current situation will eventually pass, and that you have the resilience to make it through this ordeal. Search for lessons you need to learn while you’re in the situation so that you can grow from it.
- Have compassion and be kind to yourself. Allow all your emotions to be there, and work through each and every one of them.
- Choose forgiveness over revenge. Let go of all grudges. Do it quickly, don’t wait until you feel ready to forgive. In extreme cases, choose to forgive over and over again, on a daily basis until you free yourself from the grudge. Often the hardest person to forgive, is yourself. Remember self-compassion and kindness when you tend to be hard on yourself.
Power of Resilience for the believer
All throughout the Bible, we find examples of resilient people. If I have to single someone out in the Old Testament, for me it will surely be Joseph in Genesis 37 – 50. He had to wait 12 years for a promise to be fulfilled. 12 years! During that time, the poor man faced challenge after challenge. But he managed to stay positive and successfully bounced back after every setback. In each challenge, he looked for opportunities to learn and to grow, never allowing his circumstances to get the better of him.
Apart from Jesus in the New Testament, for me another great example of resilience is found within Paul. In almost 30% of the references to Paul in Acts, he is either in court defending himself where he has been wrongfully accused, or in jail. He had been imprisoned, beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, hungry, cold, and destitute.
Moreover, he had a thorn in his flesh that he asked God to remove on several occasions, but without any deliverance. Yet, Paul rejoiced in his suffering because he says: “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.” – (Rom 5: 3-5).
Even though we might occasionally feel far from God, you and I have received this same Holy Spirit, pouring God’s love into our hearts, thank you Jesus! When we rejoice with praise and worship despite our circumstances, we start feeling closer to God and a generous shot of resilience is gifted to us. Freely!
Our relationship with God grows, as we learn to trust Him more. Go on, try it for yourself. Start to praise and worship in spite of your trials and tribulations, like Paul did.
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Curious about the power of resilience? I am a certified Transformation Life Coach operating in Riebeek Kasteel, Western Cape of South Africa. I also do virtual online life coaching sessions, so no matter where you are situated, all you need is an internet connection, a mobile phone or computer, and a space where you can meet with me uninterruptedly once a week for two hours.
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The next key #10 to personal empowerment (becoming the best version of yourself) is the POWER OF GENEROSITY.
REFERENCES:
https://www.feelinggoodmn.org/what-we-do/bounce-back-project-/resilience/
https://positivepsychology.com/what-is-resilience/
https://www.theresilienthelix.com/our-philosophy
https://www.futurity.org/when-blocked-plant-roots-do-the-twist/
