Confession time: Initially, at the end of my previous article where I introduced key#8, I called it: The power of leaving your comfort zone. So why change it to stretching your comfort zone? Simply because I am also learning while I do research for this series of non-academic articles on personal empowerment, or becoming the best version of yourself and living a life in abundance.
Isn’t it super exciting to be a forever student enrolled in the School of Life? Which immediately brings me to the main reason why you should start stretching your comfort zone NOW: to learn and to grow and to succeed!
But what or where is your comfort zone?
Your comfort zone is your safe space. It is a psychological state where you experience familiarity, ease, control, safety, and well, yes – comfort. It is what you are used to, without any sense of risk. Situations, relationships and/ or environments where you can operate in auto pilot mode.
Not a very exciting or challenging space to be in, but hey: at least you’re safe, right? The thing is: when you find yourself in a negative situation for quite some time, for example: if you are in an abusive relationship, that too can become your “comfort” zone. Not because you feel safe, but because you are used to being treated in a certain way.
The thought of breaking away from that relationship (your comfort zone) can fill you with anxiety, stress and fear for the unknown. So when you are not used to stretching the borders of your comfort zone, you might choose to rather stay put in order to avoid those feelings and uncertainties.
In less extreme examples, the comfort zone is also a bubble where you can get stuck in, feeling unmotivated, uninspired, just surviving from day to day. But the mere thought of quitting your unfulfilling job, or even applying for your dream job fills you with fear, doubts and uncertainties. So you simply procrastinate, or avoid thinking about a possible change all together.
Comfort Zone Diagram
Take a close look at the following self-explanatory diagram:
Original source: https://positivepsychology.com/comfort-zone/ – (adapted by TLT Coaching Nov 2022)
As you can see, there are five zones in the image. Ultimately, we want to end up in the growth zone, but jumping full throttle from the comfort zone straight into the growth zone will put you on a detour via the panic zone. This is where you don’t want to end up. Everything inside you screams: “I can’t do this, GO BACK!!”
You might even show symptoms of depression and anxiety here. Before you know it, you find yourself back in the safety of the comfort zone, robbed of the last bit of self-confidence, motivation and courage. That is why we want to stretch, stretch, stretch the borders gently until it expands to include all four zones.
Every step forward is progress. Although you will always experience a bit of normal, even healthy discomfort and fear each time you enter a new zone, you will be able to push through and continue the journey. That normal, healthy stress that you experience, is what ensures best performance, and gently propels you out of your comfort zone.
The dangers of remaining in your comfort zone
Although it is a safe space, remaining in the comfort zone prevents a person from moving forward and growing. Dr Margie Warrell said: “Growth and comfort can’t ride the same horse.”
She further explains that there is “a risk involved in not taking risks: you risk missing out on the life you have the potential to live”, or in other words: the life in abundance. Nelson Mandela also said, “There is no passion to be found in playing small — in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
Too many people end up feeling they are living a purposeless life. Too many people end up being stuck in their comfort zone because it’s familiar and safe. Are you one of those people? Let’s take a look at why it is so difficult to stretch your comfort zone boundaries.
Once you understand what happens in your subconscious mind when you consider doing something that is outside your safe space, you will definitely be motivated to take a look at the tips I found further in the article.
Why is it so hard to leave your comfort zone?
This is where it really gets interesting. There is a mechanism in your subconscious mind that we call the psycho cybernetic mechanism (PCM).
The main function of this mechanism is to ensure that you stay in your comfort zone. Why? To keep you safe of course! The problem is: The PCM can’t distinguish whether your comfort zone is good or bad for you. In the example of the abusive relationship, the PCM will do anything to keep you there.
Whenever your PCM detects that you are about to stretch your comfort zone (end the relationship), all hell breaks loose internally. You experience an instant adrenaline surge. Your heart rate and breathing accelerates, you might even start sweating.
Emotions of fear, anxiety, uncertainty and doubt are released by the limbic system. You are experiencing a flight or fight response, and in the case of our example, you will unfortunately choose to fight, in other words, stay put in the relationship. All thanks to the PCM that is doing everything in its power to keep you in your “safe” space.
After reading this article, please watch the Youtube animated video that explains the process of this fascinating mechanism in a practical example.
More benefits of stretching your comfort zone
Discover more benefits of getting out of your comfort zone.
Self-actualization
According to Dr. Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs established in 1943, self-actualization is our need to become the best version of ourselves. Stretching your comfort zone, you will find out what you’re really capable of. Once you push through the initial fear of leaving, you begin to step into your purpose and destiny. Like personal growth, self-actualization is also a journey, and not a destination.
Increase your resilience
Resilience is your ability to bounce back after a disappointment or setback. A very crucial and powerful inner strength to learn. The successful habit of stretching your comfort zone by continuously embracing uncomfortable situations, strengthens your resilience muscles. This is so useful, as none of us are guaranteed a life without adversities.
Boost your self-confidence
Self-confidence and comfort zones are directly linked. The smaller the comfort zone, the less confidence you have in yourself and your abilities. The more you face your fears and stretch the borders of your comfort zone, the more confident and courageous you will become.
Change a fixed mindset into a growth mindset
With a growth mindset, you believe that you are pliable – able to change. Setbacks become opportunities to learn, and life becomes an awesome journey, and not a destination. When you stretch your comfort zone, you develop a growth mindset. While a fixed mindset keeps you stuck in your current situation by a fear of failure, a growth mindset opens up endless possibilities. It inspires you to learn and to take healthy risks, and you have courage to take life’s challenges by the horns.
Tips on how to stretch your comfort zone
As every individual’s comfort zone differs, I can’t give you tips on what to do to stretch your zone, but I did find some general tips on how to do it. The golden rule here is to start small. Challenge yourself daily with little actions that make you feel uncomfortable. And celebrate every little victory.
- Make an “uncomfortable” list. Do introspection, and make a list of anything that stands between you and your goals. Here you need to dig deep. What is the next step that you are hesitant to take? And why? Don’t rush this step, as you will keep on coming back to this list to slay every obstacle. If you struggle with this step, maybe you need to get clear on your goals first. For example: maybe you feel far from God and you want to work on your relationship with God so that you can feel closer to God. You might stretch your comfort zone by having some deep conversations with different spiritual leaders, or listen to different interpretations of scripture, attend a conference, visit another denomination’s services, or change your way of worship in your quiet time. This is just an example, and not a set of rules you need to follow. It will be different for each person, hence the introspection and the digging deep.
- Learn a new skill. Whether you enroll for a degree online, start guitar lessons, or learn to braid your hair on TikTok, it doesn’t matter. Just get yourself in the learning zone fast and easy. Start with less intimidating skills first.
- Release some control. Not only is it liberating, it’s also a great way to stretch your comfort zone.
- Change bad habits. Tackle them one at a time and start with the least intrusive ones first.
- Try a different workout. Make it fun! Join a yoga or pilates class or get a fitness instructor online if you want privacy to start with. If you cycle or run, try out zumba dancing. Shake it up a little. Stretching your comfort zone physically, will make it easier to do so mentally.
- Make small, healthy changes to your diet. Try out smoothies or unique superfoods. Or cut out on your deserts. Identify emotional eating, and find an alternative release. Not only will you feel great, but it’s also a great remedy for depression and anxiety.
- Start practising mindfulness. Living in the now, will help you see opportunities more clearly where you need to stretch your comfort zone. Being fully alert and aware of the moment you’re in, is a very successful habit that can be learned.
- Challenge your mindset. When you want to try something new, remove the labels of “good” or “bad”, “right” or “wrong”. Zoom in on the feeling. Is it fear? Good! That means you’re on the right track. Gently push through the fear. One of my favourite evangelists, Joyce Meyer, says: “Do it afraid”! If you stretch too hard and the border of your comfort zone snaps and you find yourself in the panic zone, retreat to your safe space. There’s no shame in that. Congratulate yourself with learning how not to do it. And try it again with a different approach.
- Shake up your daily routine. Take another route to work, switch off your phone for an hour, take a cold shower, change your toothpaste brand, just ruffle your feathers a bit. These small changes prepare you for the big ones.
- Have fun. Learn to laugh at yourself. Don’t try to do everything so perfect, it takes all the fun out of it!
The Best Way to Get Out Your Comfort Zone
Remember, when you embark on this journey, there is no right or wrong way to do it. There is only a right way, and a way not to do it. Every individual’s tolerance in each level differs, so don’t compare your progress to anybody else’s. Be gentle and kind to yourself, but more importantly: be kind and tolerant to others. You never know if an action that you find easy and normal, might put somebody else straight into the panic zone.
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Ready to learn more about stretching your comfort zone? I am a certified Transformation Life Coach operating in Riebeek Kasteel, Western Cape of South Africa. I also do virtual online life coaching sessions, so no matter where you are situated, all you need is an internet connection, a mobile phone or computer, and a space where you can meet with me uninterruptedly once a week for two hours.
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The next key #9 to personal empowerment (becoming the best version of yourself) is the POWER OF RESILIENCE.
REFERENCES:
https://www.betterup.com/blog/comfort-zone
https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/expand-your-comfort-zone
https://positivepsychology.com/comfort-zone/
https://www.scienceofpeople.com/comfort-zone/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2019/07/06/growth-or-comfort-if-you-stick-to-whats-comfortable-you-miss-out-on-whats-possible/?sh=14cf1a0469b4
